psychexplorare asked: it would be really cool if you talked about being genderqueer and then why you stopped identifying as that bc i'm in the same place and a lot of people don't get too hear why and just lump us in with "homonormative" gays
I never applied the label “genderqueer” to myself, for the record, but with the way I asked to be called “they” and jumped around with my self-identification, I guess I may as well have done that.
I didn’t abandon the realm of agender/gender neutrality/whatever else one might call it because my feelings about myself changed: it was a change in my understanding of gender. I realized that it was more harmful to insist I wasn’t a man when I was (and am) a man who just happens to refuse hegemonic masculinity.
In my opinion, it’s not freeing to build a new box for yourself when you can just take down the box and exist as you would like to. Gender isn’t revolutionary, and attempts to expand it only deprive people permission to be varied individuals who exist as men and as women. I understand that some people need to organize themselves in labels, but that’s still possible without gender. It’s possible to be a man who enjoys interests A B C while other men enjoy X Y Z. Saying that enjoying X Y Z means one isn’t a man is the kind of essentialism that gender politics claims to battle.